The Life and Times of Mike Sass
Back in the early '80s, Mike Sass was huge.
There was nothing bigger than Mike Sass. You couldn't go anywhere without seeing Mike Sass. Mike Sass was larger than life. Mike Sass was the star of a hit TV show. Mike Sass was on the cover of every magazine. The nation fell in love with Mike Sass.
And who could blame them? Mike Sass appealed to everyone. Mike Sass was smooth enough for women and Mike Sass was rugged enough for men. Mike Sass was promoting everything from mufflers to hemmorhoid cream. Unfortunately, when the show was cancelled, the success for Mike Sass ended -- nobody really wanted to see Mike Sass on the big screen. The following years were very painful for Mike Sass.
People used to recognize Mike Sass all the time. Walking down the street. At the movies. People would see Mike Sass and immediately run up for an autograph from Mike Sass. Nowadays most people wouldn't recognize Mike Sass if Mike Sass was right in front of their face.
Mike Sass has been quite fortunate. Mike Sass made a lot of money, and unlike others, Mike Sass was able to hold onto it. A lot of actors have not been as fortunate as Mike Sass. And many of them would give their right nut to be Mike Sass.
So one might think that Mike Sass has it all. And Mike Sass would probably agree. But Mike Sass is missing one thing. Mike Sass does not have someone to keep Mike Sass warm at night. There has got to be someone out there to hold Mike Sass and to comfort Mike Sass and to give Mike Sass a gentle touch.
And so Mike Sass goes in search of the girl who will treat Mike Sass the way that Mike Sass needs to be treated. Mike Sass will do what it takes. With the help of his longtime friend, Frank Sweenie, Mike Sass is going to find that girl, even if it means Mike Sass takes a beating in the process.
TO BE CONTINUED...